Attending to emotions

The best allies you can have are people who experienced the same difficulties as you. For me this is the main value of the Women’s Peace Leadership Programme (WPLP): not only the inspirational experiences I observe from my brave colleagues here but also being an inspiration myself - we all keep the door open for others to achieve the same things we have.

Mediators experience conflict first-hand on a daily basis by directly witnessing what people are going through, the traumas they are fighting and the emotions they are dealing with. Professor Donna Hicks said that at some point in her career, she understood that talks happening at the negotiation table are not the ones you necessarily need to attend. Rather, the key is witnessing and understanding the emotions ‘beneath the talks’. Once you attend to those, they become a valuable resource for the practice of mediation that helps advance the process of conflict settlement.

Heading towards peace, one step at a time

I come from a family that was devastated by a violent conflict. As a teenager, I did not even know that ‘mediation’ was a career path, and I did not consciously choose it. But along the way it appeared as if I may have the exact skills that anyone working in this area needs in order to build trust in a conflict context: empathy, being able to focus on others before yourself, and neutrality in the face of often heated discussions. Above all, the trauma that my family experienced has made me sensitive to the pain of others.

Over the years, I’ve seen how even small steps of empowerment can make a huge difference. It is hard work, and usually, women are the first ones to roll up their sleeves. There is a big community of women professionals who are working relentlessly, often with little or no recognition.

Not leaving anyone behind

For every insider mediator, as soon as your wounds start to bleed, your impartiality might hit a wall and you are forced to face the question: why do you think you can do this job? I am no exception. The lesson I learnt is that self-preservation and healing are equally important for being able to help others. The main driver for me is remembering that this work is about people.

I am lucky to have met great women on my path. As a young professional, I got to work with Tuija Talvitie, the late Director of CMI, who showed me the value of developing new and innovative approaches to conflict resolution in Ukrainian society. Just as she created spaces for people on the ground to engage in peace processes, she also created spaces within her own team to help young women colleagues like myself to grow as leaders. In my work today, I strive to overcome the stereotypes and cultural barriers that may hinder the very success of mediation and make sure that women’s perspectives are heard.

Swimming against the tide

I want my nieces and other girls to know that no matter which path they choose and how hard or scary it may get, you have to step out of your comfort zone and do it if you know that it is the right thing to do. Sometimes I feel like I may be swimming against the tide, but that also means that I am carving a path for others. Being a woman in this particular field means that there are a lot of other fights we need to fight on a daily basis.

Global security is shifting, and there are hard questions about where we are as mediators, what we can do and how we should be doing it. I value the opportunity to be immersed in spaces like WPLP, where we can pose difficult questions to each other, and share experiences in a safe space with women mediators from different regions and diverse backgrounds. It is so valuable and extremely needed. This is what I want to continue to pursue in the coming years.